Shipping Extravagaynza

The first season of Young Justice ends like a Shakespearian comedy with the leads all paired off and presumed to live happily ever after. Not everyone was thrilled with the reinforcement of heteronormativity. Indeed, the only known queer characters in the first season are the Brain and Mssr. Mallah and their relationship, which is never made explicit, would be hard to portray for reasons unrelated to them both being male. Let’s not mince words – the lack of queer representation on the show sucks. We could discuss whether Greg Weisman could have pushed harder for representation (and whether that would have endangered his job) or how crazy it is that there were executives who were fighting him on this in 20-fucking-12, but what’s done is done.  We would rather look on the bright side – Weisman said that there are LGBT characters on the show whose relationships he can explore if and when he is allowed, and we would prefer to believe that everyone who was not paired up at the end of season 1 was secretly gay.  We created this entry to celebrate some of the relationships that you can’t prove aren’t canon.

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Superman and Lex Luthor

This is almost certainly the most obvious. Not only am I sure there are a ton of people who ship Lex and Superman in general – even outside this show – but the pair have a kid together.

I imagine the relationship between Superman and Lex is definitely the result of a romantic comedy movie or possibly a Two Men and a Baby situation. They both have differing views on the world and on morality, but now they must raise their son that they both love and are confused by. They’ll bond over their shared misreading of what ‘music is today’ and also Conner’s definite anger problem. One day they’ll both just sit down on the couch with a mug of hot cocoa after Conner has yelled that they just don’t understand him and watch the news together. They’ll argue about politics and then fall asleep.

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Vandal Savage and Ra’s Al-Ghul

At first Vandal thought it was creepy – he’s old enough to be Ra’s Al-Ghul’s father! However, after a few centuries, Ra’s wore him down and convinced him that age is nothing but an unbelievably high number.

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Lori Lemaris and Perdita

It’s a princess and a mermaid! This relationship is sort of a reverse of “The Little Mermaid.” Not just one of their genders is reversed – as much as possible is.  Lori’s submarine gets caught in a storm and crashes on the shore of Vlatava. Perdita saves her life and falls in love in the process.  Enough years later that their relationship is no longer considered creepy, Perdita makes a deal with a witch wherein she trades her legs for an extra tongue. This gives her an amazing singing voice, but does nothing to allow her to live underwater. We haven’t worked out the mechanics of how this relationship works.

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Billy Batson and Klarion

They’re both gay, but we won’t pair them romantically because their youth/age creates complicated consent issues. However, we will assume that they partner up for all sorts of magical gay adventures. Also cats.

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Psimon and Captain Cold

They love the sound of each other’s voices.

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Cat Grant and Wonder Woman

While we don’t see much of either in Young Justice, their relationship presents an interesting juxtaposition from a feminist standpoint. Honestly, it’s very much a stereotypical version of what one might think of a lesbian relationship. Cat is into fashion and gossip and the typical ‘woman’ things. Wonder Woman is physically strong and protective. I imagine Cat would drag Wonder Woman to fashion shows. Wonder Woman would try to get Cat into women’s MMA. It would be an interesting dynamic of two opposite women who are very smart and successful matching wits and knowledge. Maybe not strength as Wonder Woman could easily crush Cat – but she never would.

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Orm and Vulko

It was heavily implied that Orm had some sort of secret that he was hiding, and this is what I think it was – an office romance with Vulko. Honestly, what else could it be?

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Ivo and Morrow

The Mad Science Bros are a natural fit.  Sure, they bicker and they’re very competitive, but when one of their robots goes on a murderous rampage, they always have each other to turn to. Morrow being in a coma might present some problems to this relationship, but there is always the possibility of science winning out over a decades long unconsciousness.

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Greta Hayes and Cissie King-Jones

Considering they were founding members of the team in the Young Justice comics, they really got short shrift in the cartoon. They’re both very young, so it’s probably a chaste relationship, but there is definitely a story to be told of Cissie’s first girlfriend being dead. Ultimately, their relationship falls apart due to communication issues. Greta says, “Secret” and Cissie says, “What about my needs?” Oh well, there’s always season three.

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Hal Jordan and John Stewart

“In brightest day, in blackest night,
My love shall not escape my sight.
Though times be troubled, come what might,
We’ll kiss while bathed in a green lantern’s light.”

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Mammoth and Blockbuster

Physically, Mammoth is the only lover who could handle Blockbuster. It would be a tragedy if they didn’t get together. Also, if they went out together, there would be less of a chance that someone would ask for one of them for an autograph and then be disappointed that it didn’t say “Hulk.”

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Ugly Manheim and Professor Ojo

They are both known under very mean names. Poor Ugly is simply called Ugly all the time and Professor Ojo is named after the fact that he was born without eyes. They’d both bond over having to get over such things and persevering over bullying.

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Abra Kadabra and Wotan

Abra, who knows only cold science and technology, is impressed by Wotan’s command of the elements and mastery of the mystical arts. Wotan, who is 900 years old, is impressed by Abra’s magical telephone.

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Count Vertigo and Black Adam

Vertigo admires Adam for achieving his unfulfilled ambition of ruling a country. Adam thinks Vertigo is dynamite in the sack.

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Mercy Graves and Whisper A’daire

They have two of the meanest bosses in the world. They both need a way to blow off steam after work.

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Joker and Hugo Strange

Strange is a psychiatrist and the Joker has a type.

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Joker and the Riddler

Those two kooky pranksters just crack each other up.

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Joker and Harm

They bond over their mutual love of murder and knives and evil and puns.

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Hugo Strange and the Riddler and Harm

When they find out that the Joker has been fooling around behind their backs, they murder him and this brings them all closer together. They live happily ever after.

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Red Inferno and Killer Frost

Inferno is so hot for her and she’s so cold.

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Martian Manhunter and Plastic Man

J’onn doesn’t have many options on Earth. Martian sexual positions are brutal.

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The Atom (Al Pratt) and The Atom (Ray Palmer)

Al wanted to be the tall one for once.

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Dr. Fate and Ultra-Humanite

Though, honestly, I’m of two minds about this pairing.

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Shimmer and Amanda Waller

Shimmer isn’t such a bad kid. She just lacks discipline. Who better to give it to her than the tough-as-nails Waller?

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Bane and Hourman

They both get their superpowers from drugs. They develop a codependent relationship where they enable each other’s use. Hourman is found dead in a hotel room, but Bane has already fled the country.

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Devastation and Poison Ivy

According to her wikipedia page, Devastation was created by Cronus, who was a Roman agriculture god, and Ivy is all about agriculture. Is that a tenuous link? Perhaps, but we’re almost out of female characters.

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Madame Xanadu and Tuppence Terror

And we’re out.

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Black Manta and Red Torpedo

Some sort of water thing? Some sort of color thing? I don’t know. I give up.

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